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However, not all persons end up fitting such neat molds, and certain desires can seem to inherently defy certain gendered notions (Butler 1990).Collins' (2000) work Black Feminist Thought outlines how the different social realities of black women's break from notions of what a generic 'woman' is expected to be.In a classic paper on the topic of gender, West and Zimmerman describe their sociological theory of 'doing gender' as "the activity of managing situated conduct in light of normative conceptions of attitudes and activities appropriate for one's sex category" (1987: 126); describing gender not as something one is, but a performance that is reinforced socially through gendered interaction.They argue that the process of gender is socially constructed and taught to children through a myriad of social institutions and that each has various impacts and possible influences on both children and adults (West and Zimermann 1987).However, masculine behavior would inevitably be associated as being counter to being female, and boys in particular were strongly supposed to engage in hegemonic/stereotypical masculine behavior (Kane 2006).Particularly when children begin to age, gender is further reinforced and watched upon hegemonic lines within peer groups.

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Online dating sites also offer the benefit of presenting specific public preferences in areas such as date body type, ethnicity, and education level to outside observers.In a gender framework, humans rely upon "mutual monitoring" (Goffman 1977: 5) of gender stereotypical behavior as part of our social training.Starting early on, young children are taught at institutional and familial levels about their gender and the behaviors expected of being either male or female (Martin 1988; West and Fenstermaker 1995).This is, in some ways, socially unusual to see in the public arena; in almost no other social situation would someone be asked to publicly state that they only prefer to date someone of their own race.In online dating, however, this is fairly common and sometimes even necessary to improve one's chances of finding an ideal partner.

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