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Oh, God, I'm so sorry Words crumpled inside the panel, there's barely enough space for the third guy Third guy: She was right there and I sasw her and then it was a blur and so much I ran to help didn't know she wasn't moving I'm so sorry ... Friend leaves Friend is gone, and Guy is looking at ferret Guy imagines ferret flying over the ocean near the beach using his makeshift wings My brother had a ferret he loved which died since I drew this strip. Kepler Two people stand in an aisle in a store Person 1: Nice store. Person 2: Oh, we hired this dude named Kepler, he's really good hard worker. Hatless: and of course every generation seems awful to the one before it. Hatted: yeah, and it sure would be nice to have some perspective on some of this stuff. Tighter closeup on Garfield's face Garfield thought bubble: RUN. As the King of All Cosmos remarked, ' Is it that it's fun, or that it lets you forget yourself? The character is in the lower left and the upper right corner, where it says "my apartment". dashed line 1, from the lower-left along the road to the top-left corner, then to the top-right corner 60 seconds dashed line 2, from the lower-left along the road up to the center crossroads, then diagonally over the lawn to the top-right corner 48 seconds (80%) dashed line 3, diagonally from the lower-left to the top-right corner 44.7 seconds (74%) my apartment #1=t #2=t ((1 sqrt(2)) 3) #3=t(sqrt(5) 3) When I'm walking, I worry a lot about the efficiency of my path. Digital Rights Management Hat Guy is standing on an advancing glacier Hat Guy: Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. As the parts of the comic break apart, people try to reach for each other, hold parts together, or curl up into a ball. Neither says anything Woman: Okay, you remember that my father was in the WTC North Tower, right? That is, it's okay to be self-serving, steal, and murder as long as you're going really, really fast. A figure is hovering above it in a wave of energy.]] Person 1: Sweet. There's an eye chart on the wall behind him.]] Doctor (out of frame): Philippe, your hearing is perfect! Ray holds up a sign saying "Yes" such that the an arrow on it points directly at his crotch. Beef: Yeah well I always said subtlety was your middle name dogg Beef: And also your first and last in case they didn't get the point Ray: How do you think I should play it? Parody Week: A Softer World when we open the lab each morning, we tell the robot to kill it's our little joke but secretly we're just afraid to tell it to love The robot is pregnant. Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics T-Rex: THINGS I AM UPPITY ABOUT: "They" as a third-person singular gender-free pronoun. Dromiceiomimus: But isn't that terrible grammar? ALSO: this lets us avoid ridiculous constructs like "he she", "s he", "xe" or "hirs"! Narrator: ALSO HOW ABOUT IN THIS WORLD EVERYONE IS BICURIOUS Guys: while I was writing this, I accidentally swallowed a table-sized slab of drywall. Woman: Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening. Gabe is standing there, grinning that mischievous grin, and twirling his beloved cardboard tube between his fingers. Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. ) Donald Knuth Two programmers, one with a black hat and one without a hat, are sitting back to back at two separate desks, typing. No-Hat Programmer: Man, you're being inconsistent with your array indices. Black-Hat Programmer: Different tasks call for different conventions. Black-Hat Programmer: Well, that's what he said when I asked him about it. Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys? The middle one has a sticker stuck to it proclaiming "Skateboarding is not a crime"]] When I'm president, skateboarding will still be legal, but display of those stupid stickers will be a felony. But I guess I need more willpower, because each sunrise just found me at your mom's apartment again. Another man on a telephone.]] I'd tap that ass Without a warrant. Panel 5: (Reference Comic 152) man running in large hamster ball I love the whole world Panel 6: depiction of internet sludge (4chan b -Random) And all its messed-up folks. He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. Two particles. And in the simulation Two particles, nudged a bit toward each other. another instant ticks by. One appears to be female, and paying attention like a good student. Another green bottle is lying on the floor.]] Woman: More sugary drinks? Man: Yeah - then we keep her supplied with insulin unless things go wrong. Man closes lid to the piano. Man: I once asked a genie for someone who could play it for me, but I think he misheard. Security A Crypto nerd's imagination: Guy Holding Laptop: His laptop's encrypted. (Also, I would be hard-pressed to find that wrench for $5.) Boyfriend Girl (on the phone): Can my boyfriend come along? FIRST Design Team Member 1 (out of panel): Wow, this is a much better design. A blue print depicting a robot design for the FIRST competition.so sorry Men and women are standing in a row Man: English should be the national language. You stop trying to tell me where, when, and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice. Narrator: It's been over a decade since Jurassic Park opened, and I still size up buildings for their potential as shelter against velociraptor attacks. By the bottom, a person is falling, surrounded by pieces of the comic]] #pugglewumper Tashari got me some ink pens! Binary Heart All the numbers are black except for a heart-shaped red section in the middle. 011010010110110001101 111011101100110010101 111001010011110111010 101101001011011000100 111101110110011001010 111100101101111011101 010110100101101100011 011110111011001100101 011110010100111101110 101011010010110110001 001111011101100110010 101111001010011110111 010101101001011011000 101010110100101101100 010011110111011001100 101011110010110111101 110101011010010110110 001001111011101100110 010101111001010011110 111010101101001011011 000100111101110110011 i love you Family Circus Picture shows a pathway winding through trees to a sink inside a house, out to some swings and back to ths sink, out to a ball and back to the sink... Caption: Jeffy's ongoing struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder This was my friend David's idea Laser Scope Box with a mailing label on one side, and in the front: Miss your loved ones? (Note: This is why rap sounds better on the highway at 90 mph) It's science! Beef: Well basically you got no chance as I see it these dudes are all lovers and fighters to the last Beef: All sprung fully formed from the head of Sweet Sweetback Beef: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag Ray: These words you got are crazy. Beef: Uh huh about the fight I wasn't gonna tell you but how could you miss that I was setting you up Ray: What? Beef looks sorry and Ray looks annoyed.]] Silence. Silence. Silence. Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee SO GUYS WHAT IS FUNNY THIS WEEK? To quote Stanford algorithm's expert Donald Knuth, "Who are you? His books were kinda intimidating; rappelling down through his skylight seemed like the best option. Reverse Euphemisms My Hobby: Reverse Euphemisms Hat Guy grabs Random Guy's hand with a Random Guy: What th-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Hat Guy slices off Random Guy's hand with a knife. Hat Guy: Ok, listen carefully. ' Arrest me, I'm a skateboarder' is an even more obnoxious variant. It's an amazing time of day; the light is great for photography. Maybe someday science will get over its giant collective crush on Richard Feynman. Snacktime Rules My dad was always the one who taught me about science, but looking back, I'm starting to realize how much my nerdiness was influenced by my mom. It's crazy how much my gut opinion of a movie/song is swayed by what other people say, regardless of how I felt coming out of the theater. If I get a Wii, it will be the first game console I've owned. ZF: "Ideas are tested by experiment." That is the _core_ of science. ZF: By teaching people to hold their beliefs up to experiment, Mythbusters is doing more to drag humanity out of the unscientific darkness than a thousand lessons in rigor. Man with his hand on his chin, looking at a tree. I'd tap that ass And extract delicious maple syrup. Security Guy: You need to come with - Guy: Sure, sure. On a plane Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it. Panel 7: (Reference Comic 150) man and woman immersed in playpen balls Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 8: mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 9: (Reference Comic 72) black hat man taking gift away from kid with party hat I love your suffering. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle. Poof, mote of dust vanishing before man. So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something Man holding two rocks, looking at one, with two at his feet. I must have misplaced a rock sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia. The other, the narrator, has his elbows on the desk and head in his hands, bored with the teacher at the front of the classroom, pointing a pointing stick at the chalkboard. Narration: I take the Jurassic Park approach to parenting. Let's build a million-dollar cluster to crack it. It consists of a standard mobile platform, with a pusher blade at the front.Alt text: If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's ' Free Culture' is pretty good If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's ' Free Culture' is pretty good Velociraptors Picture of a suburban house, with lines pointing to various aspects High bathroom window: probably secure. You're probably thinking, 'has it been a decade? Escher Bracelet A Livestrong-type bracelet is featured with an Escher twist in it. The panel is black with rough-edged white passages running down through it. Beef: You got played dogg Beef: I basically just didn't have the heart to go through with it in the end. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open. Silence. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open. Silence. Playing Devil's Advocate to Win Man: Yes, from the evidence it looks pretty likely to me that we're causing global warming on a horrific scale. It doesn't matter who wins the debate -- it's about reality. Random Guy is bleeding profusely. Hat Guy: Communicating badly then acting smug when you're misunderstood is not cleverness. Person 2: Look-- Person 2: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't have a plan any more than you? I hear that these days Bill Watterson is happy just painting in the Ohio woods with his father and doesn't get any mail or talk to anyone. Movie Seating At the movies, I get frustrated when we file into our row haphazardly, ignoring the computationally difficulty problem of seating people together for maximum enjoyment. Dashed line: acquaintances The eight friends sitting in a row in a dark cinema. Alice and Bob Second man raises his hands Second Man: No, don't you get it? IT' S ALL REAL Interblag Title: Terms I have used or heard used to make fun of the internet. Below: A matrix whose entries may contain crosses to indicate that a term has been used. Two people are talking to each other Person 1: I really liked that movie. Console Lines Campers to new arrivals: The line is full, asshole! Campers to new arrivals: I'm so sorry, all the consoles are spoken for. The Familiar One person sits at a computer, another is standing behind him Person standing up: Let's go see sunrise over the ocean. Man standing in a blank frame. I'd have sex With that tree. When charged particles of more than 5 Te V pass through a bubble chamber, they leave a trail of candy. [Alt text: To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story.] To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story. Guy riding longboard with girl sitting onboard -- people in background Longboard: Girl turned around on longboard Girl: I feel like we're missing something... Guy throwing 3 green Koopa Troopa shells; girl throwing 1 red Koopa Troopa shell -- like Mario Kart Guy and girl still on longboard, going up an incline Guy: Skating uphill like this is amazing. Guy: Okay - hang on, I'm half way through the iwconfig man page. Panel 10: (Reference Comic 153) diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people I love cryptography. Secretary: Part 4 The Ron Paul Revolution blimp floats Pilot: Sir! Cory Doctorow's balloon appears Cory: Ahoy. The clock is at , just about to let class out into another full day of school. Additional parts include an umbrella on top and a trailer unit consisting a telescoping pole with a matchbox and match on top.]] Referee (out of panel): Go!

||

Oh, God, I'm so sorry Close up to Third guy's face Third guy: So sorry the car just came too fast and Words crumpled inside the panel, there's barely enough space for the third guy Third guy: She was right there and I sasw her and then it was a blur and so much I ran to help didn't know she wasn't moving I'm so sorry ... Friend leaves Friend is gone, and Guy is looking at ferret Guy imagines ferret flying over the ocean near the beach using his makeshift wings My brother had a ferret he loved which died since I drew this strip. Kepler Two people stand in an aisle in a store Person 1: Nice store. Person 2: Oh, we hired this dude named Kepler, he's really good hard worker. Hatless: and of course every generation seems awful to the one before it. Hatted: yeah, and it sure would be nice to have some perspective on some of this stuff. Tighter closeup on Garfield's face Garfield thought bubble: RUN. As the King of All Cosmos remarked, ' Is it that it's fun, or that it lets you forget yourself? The character is in the lower left and the upper right corner, where it says "my apartment".]] dashed line 1, from the lower-left along the road to the top-left corner, then to the top-right corner 60 seconds dashed line 2, from the lower-left along the road up to the center crossroads, then diagonally over the lawn to the top-right corner 48 seconds (80%) dashed line 3, diagonally from the lower-left to the top-right corner 44.7 seconds (74%) my apartment #1=t #2=t ((1 sqrt(2)) 3) #3=t(sqrt(5) 3) When I'm walking, I worry a lot about the efficiency of my path. Digital Rights Management Hat Guy is standing on an advancing glacier Hat Guy: Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. As the parts of the comic break apart, people try to reach for each other, hold parts together, or curl up into a ball. Neither says anything Woman: Okay, you remember that my father was in the WTC North Tower, right? That is, it's okay to be self-serving, steal, and murder as long as you're going really, really fast. A figure is hovering above it in a wave of energy.]] Person 1: Sweet. There's an eye chart on the wall behind him.]] Doctor (out of frame): Philippe, your hearing is perfect! Ray holds up a sign saying "Yes" such that the an arrow on it points directly at his crotch. Beef: Yeah well I always said subtlety was your middle name dogg Beef: And also your first and last in case they didn't get the point Ray: How do you think I should play it? Parody Week: A Softer World when we open the lab each morning, we tell the robot to kill it's our little joke but secretly we're just afraid to tell it to love The robot is pregnant. Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics T-Rex: THINGS I AM UPPITY ABOUT: "They" as a third-person singular gender-free pronoun. Dromiceiomimus: But isn't that terrible grammar? ALSO: this lets us avoid ridiculous constructs like "he she", "s he", "xe" or "hirs"! Narrator: ALSO HOW ABOUT IN THIS WORLD EVERYONE IS BICURIOUS Guys: while I was writing this, I accidentally swallowed a table-sized slab of drywall. Woman: Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening. Gabe is standing there, grinning that mischievous grin, and twirling his beloved cardboard tube between his fingers. Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. ) Donald Knuth Two programmers, one with a black hat and one without a hat, are sitting back to back at two separate desks, typing. No-Hat Programmer: Man, you're being inconsistent with your array indices. Black-Hat Programmer: Different tasks call for different conventions. Black-Hat Programmer: Well, that's what he said when I asked him about it. Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys? The middle one has a sticker stuck to it proclaiming "Skateboarding is not a crime"]] When I'm president, skateboarding will still be legal, but display of those stupid stickers will be a felony. But I guess I need more willpower, because each sunrise just found me at your mom's apartment again. Another man on a telephone.]] I'd tap that ass Without a warrant. Panel 5: (Reference Comic 152) man running in large hamster ball I love the whole world Panel 6: depiction of internet sludge (4chan b -Random) And all its messed-up folks. He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. Two particles. And in the simulation Two particles, nudged a bit toward each other. another instant ticks by. One appears to be female, and paying attention like a good student. Another green bottle is lying on the floor.]] Woman: More sugary drinks? Man: Yeah - then we keep her supplied with insulin unless things go wrong. Man closes lid to the piano. Man: I once asked a genie for someone who could play it for me, but I think he misheard. Security A Crypto nerd's imagination: Guy Holding Laptop: His laptop's encrypted. (Also, I would be hard-pressed to find that wrench for $5.) Boyfriend Girl (on the phone): Can my boyfriend come along? FIRST Design Team Member 1 (out of panel): Wow, this is a much better design. A blue print depicting a robot design for the FIRST competition.

so sorry Men and women are standing in a row Man: English should be the national language. You stop trying to tell me where, when, and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice. Narrator: It's been over a decade since Jurassic Park opened, and I still size up buildings for their potential as shelter against velociraptor attacks. By the bottom, a person is falling, surrounded by pieces of the comic]] #pugglewumper Tashari got me some ink pens! Binary Heart All the numbers are black except for a heart-shaped red section in the middle. 011010010110110001101 111011101100110010101 111001010011110111010 101101001011011000100 111101110110011001010 111100101101111011101 010110100101101100011 011110111011001100101 011110010100111101110 101011010010110110001 001111011101100110010 101111001010011110111 010101101001011011000 101010110100101101100 010011110111011001100 101011110010110111101 110101011010010110110 001001111011101100110 010101111001010011110 111010101101001011011 000100111101110110011 i love you Family Circus Picture shows a pathway winding through trees to a sink inside a house, out to some swings and back to ths sink, out to a ball and back to the sink... Caption: Jeffy's ongoing struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder This was my friend David's idea Laser Scope Box with a mailing label on one side, and in the front: Miss your loved ones? (Note: This is why rap sounds better on the highway at 90 mph) It's science! Beef: Well basically you got no chance as I see it these dudes are all lovers and fighters to the last Beef: All sprung fully formed from the head of Sweet Sweetback Beef: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag Ray: These words you got are crazy. Beef: Uh huh about the fight I wasn't gonna tell you but how could you miss that I was setting you up Ray: What? Beef looks sorry and Ray looks annoyed.]] Silence. Silence. Silence. Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee SO GUYS WHAT IS FUNNY THIS WEEK? To quote Stanford algorithm's expert Donald Knuth, "Who are you? His books were kinda intimidating; rappelling down through his skylight seemed like the best option. Reverse Euphemisms My Hobby: Reverse Euphemisms Hat Guy grabs Random Guy's hand with a Random Guy: What th-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Hat Guy slices off Random Guy's hand with a knife. Hat Guy: Ok, listen carefully. ' Arrest me, I'm a skateboarder' is an even more obnoxious variant. It's an amazing time of day; the light is great for photography. Maybe someday science will get over its giant collective crush on Richard Feynman. Snacktime Rules My dad was always the one who taught me about science, but looking back, I'm starting to realize how much my nerdiness was influenced by my mom. It's crazy how much my gut opinion of a movie/song is swayed by what other people say, regardless of how I felt coming out of the theater. If I get a Wii, it will be the first game console I've owned. ZF: "Ideas are tested by experiment." That is the _core_ of science. ZF: By teaching people to hold their beliefs up to experiment, Mythbusters is doing more to drag humanity out of the unscientific darkness than a thousand lessons in rigor. Man with his hand on his chin, looking at a tree. I'd tap that ass And extract delicious maple syrup. Security Guy: You need to come with - Guy: Sure, sure. On a plane Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it. Panel 7: (Reference Comic 150) man and woman immersed in playpen balls Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 8: mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 9: (Reference Comic 72) black hat man taking gift away from kid with party hat I love your suffering. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle. Poof, mote of dust vanishing before man. So if you see a mote of dust vanish from your vision in a little flash or something Man holding two rocks, looking at one, with two at his feet. I must have misplaced a rock sometime in the last few billions and billions of millennia. The other, the narrator, has his elbows on the desk and head in his hands, bored with the teacher at the front of the classroom, pointing a pointing stick at the chalkboard. Narration: I take the Jurassic Park approach to parenting. Let's build a million-dollar cluster to crack it. It consists of a standard mobile platform, with a pusher blade at the front.

Alt text: If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's ' Free Culture' is pretty good If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's ' Free Culture' is pretty good Velociraptors Picture of a suburban house, with lines pointing to various aspects High bathroom window: probably secure. You're probably thinking, 'has it been a decade? Escher Bracelet A Livestrong-type bracelet is featured with an Escher twist in it. The panel is black with rough-edged white passages running down through it. Beef: You got played dogg Beef: I basically just didn't have the heart to go through with it in the end. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open. Silence. Beef is looking down and Ray's mouth is open. Silence. Playing Devil's Advocate to Win Man: Yes, from the evidence it looks pretty likely to me that we're causing global warming on a horrific scale. It doesn't matter who wins the debate -- it's about reality. Random Guy is bleeding profusely. Hat Guy: Communicating badly then acting smug when you're misunderstood is not cleverness. Person 2: Look-- Person 2: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't have a plan any more than you? I hear that these days Bill Watterson is happy just painting in the Ohio woods with his father and doesn't get any mail or talk to anyone. Movie Seating At the movies, I get frustrated when we file into our row haphazardly, ignoring the computationally difficulty problem of seating people together for maximum enjoyment. Dashed line: acquaintances The eight friends sitting in a row in a dark cinema. Alice and Bob Second man raises his hands Second Man: No, don't you get it? IT' S ALL REAL Interblag Title: Terms I have used or heard used to make fun of the internet. Below: A matrix whose entries may contain crosses to indicate that a term has been used. Two people are talking to each other Person 1: I really liked that movie. Console Lines Campers to new arrivals: The line is full, asshole! Campers to new arrivals: I'm so sorry, all the consoles are spoken for. The Familiar One person sits at a computer, another is standing behind him Person standing up: Let's go see sunrise over the ocean. Man standing in a blank frame. I'd have sex With that tree. When charged particles of more than 5 Te V pass through a bubble chamber, they leave a trail of candy. [Alt text: To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story.] To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story. Guy riding longboard with girl sitting onboard -- people in background Longboard: Girl turned around on longboard Girl: I feel like we're missing something... Guy throwing 3 green Koopa Troopa shells; girl throwing 1 red Koopa Troopa shell -- like Mario Kart Guy and girl still on longboard, going up an incline Guy: Skating uphill like this is amazing. Guy: Okay - hang on, I'm half way through the iwconfig man page. Panel 10: (Reference Comic 153) diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people I love cryptography. Secretary: Part 4 The Ron Paul Revolution blimp floats Pilot: Sir! Cory Doctorow's balloon appears Cory: Ahoy. The clock is at , just about to let class out into another full day of school. Additional parts include an umbrella on top and a trailer unit consisting a telescoping pole with a matchbox and match on top.]] Referee (out of panel): Go!

I went to a dinner where there was a full 10 minutes of Holy Grail quotes exchanged, with no context, in lieu of conversation. What If A large black circle with white bubbles inside it, filled with hearts, question marks, and stick figure couples What if this isn't everything it should be? Woman: Yeah Man: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. The band has the letters "WWED" printed on it.]] The only downside is that it would be a little uncomfortable Gravitational Mass Hat Guy: Gravitational mass is identical to inertial mass. RJX-21 Laser Scope I wish I'd missed you then so I wouldn't be missing you now Back to the Future A man and a woman are standing, talking to one another Man: This weekend, my professor friend built a time machine out of a De Lorean and I went back in time! A stick figure is holding onto a rope, dangling down one of these passages. Beef: Anyway the point is that you are gonna lose this thing so hard Beef: All cheap Mc D's hamburger to their slabs of steak Beef: A couple 12-oz sirloins garnished with nothing but pure manhood Beef: Maybe some sprigs of parsley Beef: You are pretty much going down Closeup of a shocked Ray. Silence. Silence. Beef looks surprised. {{alt: I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you? By just waiting a little longer, we'll get to SEE who was right. Words that End in GRY Hat Guy and Random Guy are standing next to each other. Random Guy: There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". Random Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Hat Guy: I hope we've learned something today. Maybe just having this conversation means we're lost. String Theory String Theory summarized: I just had an awesome idea. Map of relationships between 8 people. Single line: friends. Narrator and one other are between two lovers.]] Guys! It's like the traveling salesman problem, but the endpoints are different and you can't ask your friends for help because they're sitting three seats down. Of course on some level I realized it was a known-plaintext attack. Yet one more reason I'm barred from speaking at crypto conferences. Meanwhile, you have no money, half an art degree, and it's the start of winter. The rows (prefixes) are labelled WORLD WIDE, INTER-, BLOGO-, BLAGO- and WEB- ; the columns are labelled NET, WEB, SPHERE, TUBES and BLAG. One of them is hot, but we should each flirt with one of her less-desirable friends. Matrix Transform ( ( cos 90 In fact, draw all your rotational matrices sideways. Person at computer: That's a long drive, it's cold, I'm tired, and rationalizing the familiar is easy. In the next two frames the man at the computer remains at his computer]] When I say we should do something sometime, I'm secretly hoping you'll say ' Why not now? The dish is aimed out the window; the Hat Guy plugs the device into the wall. Guy: I'm afraid to ask. Hey, when you're done draining the syrup, just leave the hole, okay? 1,000 Miles North Van and truck travel toward mountains Narrator: 1,000 miles north of tornado alley Narrator: a new breed of scientists has emerged. Boy: One of my classic high-school dates coming up! Electric Skateboard (Double Comic) Guy showing off electric skateboard to girl reading something Guy: Check it out! Years of gliding downhill and pushing uphill, and now suddenly it's gliding both ways. Security checkpoint Security guy: Sir, is this container under three ounces? Purity Texts reads ' Fields arranged by purity'. Panel 11: (Reference Comic 230) A FIRST competition field, with teams at opposite ends.

The last panel claims that the reader has already memorized “correct horse battery staple”.

George Clinton Narrator: I once tried to start the urban legend that George Clinton has a B. in mathematics A ferret with airplane wings on it Friend: Why on earth did you make those wings? One could imagine an extremely large object with lots of resistance to force and no gravity (or vice versa), but this is never observed. I'm just gonna skip the rest of the buildup and say it: Yo mama's fat. Guy goes into the house, brushes his teeth, and leaves the house again. Guy is at a club, disco balls in the ceiling and a giant woofer. An anime girl with pigtails, long rectangular earrings and a blank expression stands with her arms at her sides. Narration: In today's megaxkcd, our protagonist comes to terms with his romantic love for a girl who is a video game console accessory. Man 1 and Man 2 stand in front of a profile shot of a house. Man 2 stands at street level, while Man 1 is holding a cake on the top of a two-step staircase to the front door. Man 2: Fred? And pragmatically, on the outside chance that they're all wrong, I get saved the embarrassment of having spoken up. MAN IN BERET: We are adrift in an uncaring void indifferent to all our mortal toil. e to the pi times i Two people (anonymous: no hair or hats) stand in conversation, one gesturing over a flipchart of indistinct algebra. EXPLAINER: NUMBERS OF THE FORM n√(-1) ARE "IMAGINARY" BUT WE CAN STILL USE THEM IN EQUATIONS. Man is doing pull-ups on a bar Man doing pull-ups: One more point to str, then I'll run to work on con. Holds her hands about half a foot apart Now can we PLEASE, as a culture, move on? Hat Guy: Okay, now throw the switch labeled "Macarena". A woman lies down in a bed, while someone is beneath the bed sheets with the head between her legs. 4 - Barren field, mountains in background, woman holding large video camera up to tiny spot of grass Narrator: Permafrost chasers Female: I'm getting some great footage here! In lieu of mapping software, I once wrote a Perl program which, given a USB GPS receiver and a destination, printed ' LEFT' ' RIGHT' OR ' STRAIGHT' based on my heading. It's a lot to ask, but could you take her out and ... Girl: But coding C or assembly makes you a better programmer. Points to equations on the board Guy in room: Hold on. They stand on a scale of purity with the left end representing less purity and the right representing more purity. And with things unresolved with Megan, can I really commit enough to make that kind of decision? Panel 15: (Reference Comic 303) two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 16: (Reference Comic 263) class room with two students and female teacher Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 17: man saying "Barack me Obamadeus! The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer? Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle. it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I understand large sample sizes are key to a low standard error of the mean, but the entire sophomore class? Randall: A large solar flare could dent the Earth's magnetic field inwards. Semicontrolled Demolition A person is holding up a pointer to a screen with an image of the World Trade Center towers mid-disaster. Person: Based on my analysis, I believe the government faked the plane crash and demolished the WTC north tower with explosives. No, YOU stumble past a series of post-breakup hookups in a daze as you slowly realize what you've lost and how unlikely you are ever to get it back first. The coin goes flying.]] Why do all my attempts at science end with me being punched by Batman? Romance cuts off, indicating a breakup before the meeting of the narrator and his current SO, and happiness dips accordingly.

You don't seriously think they could let your ferret fly, right? She's so fat the attraction goes up as the CUBE of the distance instead of the square Jacket Two men stand and talk to one another. First man: Where's my fucking jacket? We have this conversation at least once a day in my apartment Sunrise A guy is on the street. I always hope that I'll find someone else quietly hiding from sleep, and we'll see each other and sit and talk. Many people are dancing around him. Sometimes, I sit on top of parking decks and watch the sun rise. Jeremy Irons A guy points at a girl with his mouth open. Man 1: Wait, I'm not sure we should parody megatokyo. There are so many well-meaning conservatives around here who just assume global warming is only presented as a moral issue for political reasons. Misusing Slang Narrator: The best part of getting older is gonna be intentionally misusing slang around teenagers just to watch them squirm. Adolescent: Nihilism Standing outside the Airport. They appear in this order, from left to right: Sociology, Psychology, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics. " to another man speaking energetically at a podium Woman: *GASP* MMMMM_ Computer: GO GO POWER RANGERS I didn't even know I *had* the Monty Python ' Lumberjack' song. Radio: Dammit, Harding, it's not worth your neck! Twister would've been a much better movie if they'd cut out the bad-guy storm chaser and all the emotional romance crap. Overqualified [On phone] Girl: I know you're not that into my sister, but she's really crushing on you. Is this paper simply a build-up to an "imaginary friends" pun? I've got to re-mine the driveway.' xkcd Goes to the Airport Man is throwing boomerang Holding his hands up, man waits for return Continual waiting Man is dejected, head hangs low I love elections. Further Boomerang Difficulties Man throws boomerang The confirmation hearings begin... Man waits for boomerang]] Outside: Oh God Outside: The Ozone layer! A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. Secretary: Part 3 A man wearing a beret, extension cord in hand, approaches Randall as he works at his computer. Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record. Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... Induced Current Stunned, the man wearing the beret looks down at the cord he carries. Beret: Can I plug my extension cord over here? The Earth's spin could then induce a strong current in any long conductors, melting them and starting fires. Dejected, the man walks away, cord in tow. Beret: Really? Randall looks up from his computer as he is braced by his girlfriend, a stern look in her face. A man in a lab coat is talking to a woman who's sitting on an examining table. Girlfriend: That was MEAN. Person: The south tower, in a simultaneous but unrelated plot, was brought down by actual terrorists. Trimester Two trees are growing on opposite sides of a sphere. Man: Well, until the second trimester, the baby hasn't decided which opening it will exit through. * Man: We'll hope for one of the lower ones, so it won't be fighting gravity. Also, it's not like anyone actually calls up the Nobel committee to double-check things. A line indicates where the couple first met; romance is jagged thereafter, initially upwards but later down.

Petit Trees (sketch) Girl sleeping on her side, facing away from view ' Petit' being a reference to Le Petit Prince, which I only thought about halfway through the sketch Irony Narrator: When self-reference, irony, and meta-humor go too far Narrator: A CAUTIONARY TALE Man 1: This statement wouldn't be funny if not for irony! Girl sleeping (Sketch -- 11th grade Spanish class) Man and woman talking, looking at a group of 2 men and a woman standing further away. I just want silly and entertaining on command now and then. Centrifugal Force B stands beside A Hat Guy: Do you like my centrifuge, Mister Bond? Simply construct Newton's laws into a rotating system and you will see a centrifugal force term appear as plain as day. Bond: Come now, do you really expect me to do coordinate substitution in my head while strapped to a centrifuge? Remember, raptors run at 10 m s and they do not know fear. Science Fair Although it caught me by surprise at the time, looking back I understand why my senior science fair project went over as badly as it did. Caption: My Hobby: mispronouncing Words] B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. A pain down in her soul, the same as the one down in mine. Person 1: The police light played through her mohawk like the sun setting through pine trees as she shoveled the third hooker into the trunk of the camry... Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk. Mispronouncing There is a screencap of Google's front page with the following entries suggested for autocompletion in the search box: velociraptors site:"jurassic park" raptors dromaeosaurids utahraptor "home depot" deadbolts security home improvement surviving a raptor attack robert bakker paleontologist robert bakker "possible raptor sympathizer" site:en.surviving a raptor attack learning from mistakes in jurassic park big-game rifles tire irons treating raptor wounds do raptors fear fire how to make a molotov cocktail do raptors fear death can raptors pick locks how to tell if my neighbors are raptors Man 1: Yeah, did you see what he said on his wobsite? Search History Author: In solidarity with the many AOL users whose often embarrassing web searches were released to the public, I offer a sample of my own search history: Camera zooms out slightly Something Awful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL searches in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13. Pattern of rocks on a grid. Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back. Arrow|Text=null Target=8b. kill the physicists" Waking up from his sleep Man- A diagram of a baseball diamond. "Oh god. Stick figure: I'm locked out, and I'm trying to get my roommate to let me in. Bases and x points are marked, as well as dashed lines covering the field. The "Base" Metaphor Explained Along the first base line is "Your Base" Slightly right of that is a binary base: 0110 0010 0110 0001 0111 0011 0110 0101 0010 0000 0011 0010] Second base: Hands under the shirt and or licking Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants") Randall Monroe on stage ((The following are x marks. ((dry humping is on the "orgasm" side.)) Between third base and home: "Virginity" (Maginot) line.)) ((Arrows pointing out various other features: An arrow crossing the "Virginity" line: Teens. An arrow crossing the orgasm line in the outfield: Napoleon's forces.)) I once got to second base with a basketball player. TED Talk Hat Guy is holding blood stained rags while woman is holding an equally bloody mop Randall - Hi. Cover-Up A man points to a diagram of a particle accelerator Hat Guy: Okay, got the blood off the walls. Did you know "gullible" is written on your ceiling? Simple desolate badlands landscape with an imposing sun in the sky Man 1: Do you have any thoughts regarding the particle accelerator's tertiary F. The other scientist is on the phone.]] Caged Rat: Squeak! The most brutal way I've ever seen someone handle this was ' Oh, you have a girlfriend. ' ' I, uh, don't know--' ' Well, do you love her? The BBC lead was ' The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.' I couldn't read it with a straight face.

Two guys stand next to each other talking It's commonly known that too much perspective can be a downer. Hammer Slide Figure holding balloon; Balloon gets caught in ceiling fan; Figure holds on and is pulled up A: I just feel like somewhere out there is the girl for me. Intersection of sets 2 and 3: Vanilla Ice I'm just trying to explain, please don't be jealous! But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back? I don't understand why people are so disingenuous! Balloon I watched the scene in the restaurant for a full fifteen minutes hoping this would happen: Laying down rows of rocks. So I'm a bad person. Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. Using the floor plan on the next page, plot a route through the building, assuming raptors take 5 minutes to open the first door and halve the time for each subsequent door. Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that. Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels. Cuttlefish float out of the tank at man and woman One day I started laying down rows of rocks. Scientist - "When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them. Cuttlefish: GO." Ponytailed stick figure approaches stick figure, who is sitting on porch steps, laptop in lap and backpack open Cuttlefishes- "Kill the physicists... I'm An Idiot Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red Ponytailed stick figure: Should I ask? Slightly before first base: Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your Crush's. Between the pitcher and second base: Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse. A line traveling across the second to third baseline, and towards home plate: The orgasm line. Randall - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention: Randall - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? Randall writing on a desk Screen - "Linux (or BSD :) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched" "Linux (or BSD :)) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched and weird" Man with briefcase enters the house Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from: Siggraph Eurocrypt Defcon Pycon International Astronomical Union Canadian Paleontology Conference Every American Furry Convention American Baking Society Asian Dolphin-Training Conference TED The IAU ban came after the 'redefinition of 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom' incident. A guy is looking at a kindle Hat Guy: Hi. Just yesterday I bought my first non-DRM'd songs (The Last Vegas, in keeping with my ' I only listen to things from Guitar Hero' theme). It wouldn't smash the right tiny things together. Kindle Two people are talking. Girl: A Kindle? One of the scientists is holding a glowing implement; she has another rat in her hand and one on her head. We Get It Person 1 walks out of the panel. Person 1: Avatar? Person 1 returns with a ladder. Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone. George Clinton indicates equations on a blackboard Person 1: ... Person 2: You know, if this phase of your relationship lasts more than a week, I'm legally allowed to stab you both. Person 1: So, did I mention I'm seeing someone?

||

The last panel claims that the reader has already memorized “correct horse battery staple”. George Clinton Narrator: I once tried to start the urban legend that George Clinton has a B. in mathematics A ferret with airplane wings on it Narrator: ..I wanted it to be true so badly that I started believing it myself. Ferret Guy goes into the house, brushes his teeth, and leaves the house again. Friend: Why on earth did you make those wings? One could imagine an extremely large object with lots of resistance to force and no gravity (or vice versa), but this is never observed. I'm just gonna skip the rest of the buildup and say it: Yo mama's fat. Guy is at a club, disco balls in the ceiling and a giant woofer. An anime girl with pigtails, long rectangular earrings and a blank expression stands with her arms at her sides. Man 1 and Man 2 stand in front of a profile shot of a house. Man 2 stands at street level, while Man 1 is holding a cake on the top of a two-step staircase to the front door. Narration: In today's megaxkcd, our protagonist comes to terms with his romantic love for a girl who is a video game console accessory. Two people (anonymous: no hair or hats) stand in conversation, one gesturing over a flipchart of indistinct algebra. Man 2: Fred? And pragmatically, on the outside chance that they're all wrong, I get saved the embarrassment of having spoken up. MAN IN BERET: We are adrift in an uncaring void indifferent to all our mortal toil. e to the pi times i Man is doing pull-ups on a bar EXPLAINER: NUMBERS OF THE FORM n√(-1) ARE "IMAGINARY" BUT WE CAN STILL USE THEM IN EQUATIONS. Holds her hands about half a foot apart Man doing pull-ups: One more point to str, then I'll run to work on con. A woman lies down in a bed, while someone is beneath the bed sheets with the head between her legs. 4 - Barren field, mountains in background, woman holding large video camera up to tiny spot of grass Narrator: risking everything for the thrill of the hunt Male: The freeze line is shifting! Points to equations on the board Narrator: Permafrost chasers Female: I'm getting some great footage here! In lieu of mapping software, I once wrote a Perl program which, given a USB GPS receiver and a destination, printed ' LEFT' ' RIGHT' OR ' STRAIGHT' based on my heading. It's a lot to ask, but could you take her out and ... Girl: But coding C or assembly makes you a better programmer. two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs Guy in room: Hold on. They stand on a scale of purity with the left end representing less purity and the right representing more purity. And with things unresolved with Megan, can I really commit enough to make that kind of decision? Panel 15: (Reference Comic 303) class room with two students and female teacher Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 16: (Reference Comic 263) man saying "Barack me Obamadeus! The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer? Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle. it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I understand large sample sizes are key to a low standard error of the mean, but the entire sophomore class? Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 17: A person is holding up a pointer to a screen with an image of the World Trade Center towers mid-disaster. Randall: A large solar flare could dent the Earth's magnetic field inwards. Semicontrolled Demolition Two men stand and talk to one another. Person: Based on my analysis, I believe the government faked the plane crash and demolished the WTC north tower with explosives. No, YOU stumble past a series of post-breakup hookups in a daze as you slowly realize what you've lost and how unlikely you are ever to get it back first. The coin goes flying.]] Why do all my attempts at science end with me being punched by Batman? Romance cuts off, indicating a breakup before the meeting of the narrator and his current SO, and happiness dips accordingly.You don't seriously think they could let your ferret fly, right? She's so fat the attraction goes up as the CUBE of the distance instead of the square Jacket A guy is on the street. I always hope that I'll find someone else quietly hiding from sleep, and we'll see each other and sit and talk. Many people are dancing around him. First man: Where's my fucking jacket? We have this conversation at least once a day in my apartment Sunrise A guy points at a girl with his mouth open. Man 1: Wait, I'm not sure we should parody megatokyo. There are so many well-meaning conservatives around here who just assume global warming is only presented as a moral issue for political reasons. Misusing Slang Narrator: The best part of getting older is gonna be intentionally misusing slang around teenagers just to watch them squirm. Adolescent: Nihilism Standing outside the Airport. They appear in this order, from left to right: Sociology, Psychology, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics. " to another man speaking energetically at a podium MAN: There is no God. I haven't had the patience for RPGs in a long time. The penis varies in size when flaccid and is pretty consistently about yea big when erect. And sometimes I use it to retaliate against the guy upstairs with the loud girlfriend and the elliptical dish. Aragorn and Martin: I'm here to reforge my broken sword so I can lead an army against the tyrant threatening my people. Mouse: Hang on, it's encrypted with my public key. On the other hand, poor Samara -- transcoded to FLV. ON the other side of the room, a computer is turned on and playing music]] Woman: *GASP* MMMMM_ Computer: GO GO POWER RANGERS I didn't even know I *had* the Monty Python ' Lumberjack' song. Radio: Dammit, Harding, it's not worth your neck! Twister would've been a much better movie if they'd cut out the bad-guy storm chaser and all the emotional romance crap. Overqualified [On phone] Girl: I know you're not that into my sister, but she's really crushing on you. Is this paper simply a build-up to an "imaginary friends" pun? I've got to re-mine the driveway.' xkcd Goes to the Airport Man is throwing boomerang Holding his hands up, man waits for return Continual waiting Man is dejected, head hangs low I love elections. Further Boomerang Difficulties Man throws boomerang The confirmation hearings begin... Man waits for boomerang]] Outside: Oh God Outside: The Ozone layer! A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. Secretary: Part 3 A man wearing a beret, extension cord in hand, approaches Randall as he works at his computer. Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record. Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... Induced Current Stunned, the man wearing the beret looks down at the cord he carries. Beret: Can I plug my extension cord over here? The Earth's spin could then induce a strong current in any long conductors, melting them and starting fires. Dejected, the man walks away, cord in tow. Beret: Really? Randall looks up from his computer as he is braced by his girlfriend, a stern look in her face. A man in a lab coat is talking to a woman who's sitting on an examining table. Girlfriend: That was MEAN. Person: The south tower, in a simultaneous but unrelated plot, was brought down by actual terrorists. Trimester Two trees are growing on opposite sides of a sphere. Man: Well, until the second trimester, the baby hasn't decided which opening it will exit through. * Man: We'll hope for one of the lower ones, so it won't be fighting gravity. Also, it's not like anyone actually calls up the Nobel committee to double-check things. A line indicates where the couple first met; romance is jagged thereafter, initially upwards but later down. Petit Trees (sketch) Girl sleeping on her side, facing away from view ' Petit' being a reference to Le Petit Prince, which I only thought about halfway through the sketch Irony Narrator: When self-reference, irony, and meta-humor go too far Narrator: A CAUTIONARY TALE Man 1: This statement wouldn't be funny if not for irony! Girl sleeping (Sketch -- 11th grade Spanish class) Man and woman talking, looking at a group of 2 men and a woman standing further away. I just want silly and entertaining on command now and then. Centrifugal Force B stands beside A Hat Guy: Do you like my centrifuge, Mister Bond? Simply construct Newton's laws into a rotating system and you will see a centrifugal force term appear as plain as day. Bond: Come now, do you really expect me to do coordinate substitution in my head while strapped to a centrifuge? Remember, raptors run at 10 m s and they do not know fear. Science Fair Although it caught me by surprise at the time, looking back I understand why my senior science fair project went over as badly as it did. Caption: My Hobby: mispronouncing Words] B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. A pain down in her soul, the same as the one down in mine. Person 1: The police light played through her mohawk like the sun setting through pine trees as she shoveled the third hooker into the trunk of the camry... Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk. Mispronouncing There is a screencap of Google's front page with the following entries suggested for autocompletion in the search box: velociraptors site:"jurassic park" raptors dromaeosaurids utahraptor "home depot" deadbolts security home improvement surviving a raptor attack robert bakker paleontologist robert bakker "possible raptor sympathizer" site:en.surviving a raptor attack learning from mistakes in jurassic park big-game rifles tire irons treating raptor wounds do raptors fear fire how to make a molotov cocktail do raptors fear death can raptors pick locks how to tell if my neighbors are raptors Man 1: Yeah, did you see what he said on his wobsite? Search History Author: In solidarity with the many AOL users whose often embarrassing web searches were released to the public, I offer a sample of my own search history: Camera zooms out slightly Something Awful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL searches in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13. Pattern of rocks on a grid. Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back. Arrow|Text=null Target=8b. kill the physicists" Waking up from his sleep Man- A diagram of a baseball diamond. "Oh god. Stick figure: I'm locked out, and I'm trying to get my roommate to let me in. Bases and x points are marked, as well as dashed lines covering the field. The "Base" Metaphor Explained Along the first base line is "Your Base" Slightly right of that is a binary base: 0110 0010 0110 0001 0111 0011 0110 0101 0010 0000 0011 0010] Second base: Hands under the shirt and or licking Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants") Randall Monroe on stage ((The following are x marks. ((dry humping is on the "orgasm" side.)) Between third base and home: "Virginity" (Maginot) line.)) ((Arrows pointing out various other features: An arrow crossing the "Virginity" line: Teens. An arrow crossing the orgasm line in the outfield: Napoleon's forces.)) I once got to second base with a basketball player. TED Talk Hat Guy is holding blood stained rags while woman is holding an equally bloody mop Randall - Hi. Cover-Up A man points to a diagram of a particle accelerator Hat Guy: Okay, got the blood off the walls. Did you know "gullible" is written on your ceiling? Simple desolate badlands landscape with an imposing sun in the sky Man 1: Do you have any thoughts regarding the particle accelerator's tertiary F. The other scientist is on the phone.]] Caged Rat: Squeak! The most brutal way I've ever seen someone handle this was ' Oh, you have a girlfriend. ' ' I, uh, don't know--' ' Well, do you love her? The BBC lead was ' The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.' I couldn't read it with a straight face. Two guys stand next to each other talking It's commonly known that too much perspective can be a downer. Hammer Slide Figure holding balloon; Balloon gets caught in ceiling fan; Figure holds on and is pulled up A: I just feel like somewhere out there is the girl for me. Intersection of sets 2 and 3: Vanilla Ice I'm just trying to explain, please don't be jealous! But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back? I don't understand why people are so disingenuous! Balloon I watched the scene in the restaurant for a full fifteen minutes hoping this would happen: Laying down rows of rocks. So I'm a bad person. Hat Guy: A laughable claim, Mister Bond, perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science. Using the floor plan on the next page, plot a route through the building, assuming raptors take 5 minutes to open the first door and halve the time for each subsequent door. Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that. Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels. Cuttlefish float out of the tank at man and woman One day I started laying down rows of rocks. Scientist - "When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them. Cuttlefish: GO." Ponytailed stick figure approaches stick figure, who is sitting on porch steps, laptop in lap and backpack open Cuttlefishes- "Kill the physicists... I'm An Idiot Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red Ponytailed stick figure: Should I ask? Slightly before first base: Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your Crush's. Between the pitcher and second base: Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse. A line traveling across the second to third baseline, and towards home plate: The orgasm line. Randall - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention: Randall - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? Randall writing on a desk Screen - "Linux (or BSD :) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched" "Linux (or BSD :)) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched and weird" Man with briefcase enters the house Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from: Siggraph Eurocrypt Defcon Pycon International Astronomical Union Canadian Paleontology Conference Every American Furry Convention American Baking Society Asian Dolphin-Training Conference TED The IAU ban came after the 'redefinition of 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom' incident. A guy is looking at a kindle Hat Guy: Hi. Just yesterday I bought my first non-DRM'd songs (The Last Vegas, in keeping with my ' I only listen to things from Guitar Hero' theme). It wouldn't smash the right tiny things together. Kindle Two people are talking. Girl: A Kindle? One of the scientists is holding a glowing implement; she has another rat in her hand and one on her head. We Get It Person 1 walks out of the panel. Person 1: Avatar? Person 1 returns with a ladder. Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone. Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone. Person 1: ... Person 2: You know, if this phase of your relationship lasts more than a week, I'm legally allowed to stab you both. Person 1: So, did I mention I'm seeing someone?

]]

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