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This goes back to what I discussed in point one: given that most Filipinas speak passable English, why waste your time on one who can barely grunt out Filipino culture isn’t exactly intellectual to begin with; at times, it feels like this place got frozen in time somewhere around 1987.

There’s no reason to make things hard on yourself by trying to screw a girl who isn’t smart enough to count to ten in a language she was Half the girls here dream of being married to a white guy, and when she tells her family she’s dating a foreigner, they practically high-five each other.

I’ve had no less than girls in the past month try and pull this on me and I’ve nexted every single one.

This kind of game is an obvious power play: if you accede to her demands and change up your plans on her whim, she will be dictating the frame of the relationship.

For example, as I found out the hard way, Filipinos don’t say “o” in place of “zero” in spoken English when it comes to long numbers (ex: if you read off “103” as “one oh three,” many Filipinos will have no clue what you’re talking about; you have to say “one three” or “one hundred and three”).

While most of the girls I’ve known send typo-filled English texts, I can understand them easily, and we can have conversations where I display my wit and wisdom. Attempting to woo them over a cup of coffee will be torturous because they won’t understand you say.

If that makes you feel bad, just remind yourself that a good number of these girls are fucking around on despite their protestations of chastity and fidelity.

In a country where English is so widely used and learning it is mandatory, what does that say about girls who can barely write in it? I made the mistake of trying to date one girl who could only send illiterate one-syllable word texts, and most of our “date” consisted of me pantomiming with my arms hoping and praying something would penetrate her thick skull.

She was pretty cute, but the language barrier was simply too big to cross.

Why do you think the fertility rate is so high in this country? Not only are condoms here too small for the average white man (Filipinos being less endowed on average), wrapping it up is damn near required given the country’s laws. don’t have a child support extradition agreement—meaning if you knock a girl up, you can get off the hook by fleeing the country—I’m not fond of the idea of leaving my child to be raised in a Southeast Asian ghetto. The Philippines still values female modesty and chastity (at least in public), meaning that revealing outfits are a no-no for Filipino girls.

The Philippines is one of the few countries on Earth where abortion is illegal, thanks to the efforts of the Catholic Church, meaning a slip-up in the baby department means pain for you. The ones who wear them are girls who’ve spent some time outside the country and have absorbed some of the culture of wherever they went (read: they were riding the cock carousel until their labias turned blue).

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